you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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