I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
