so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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