I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
