I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
