Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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