he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
