He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
