it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How many fucks given?
0.12846
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
