I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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