so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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