you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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