I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
