you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize