who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
