if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
