sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
