the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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