if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
