in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
