we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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