so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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