three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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