HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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