Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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