My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you win again, gameday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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