i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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