I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Randomize
