why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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