No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
birth control should be required to get into college
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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