You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
