i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
