Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
