are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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