these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
