he thought i was a dude.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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