a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
