Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
