i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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