He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
