I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize