i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
