She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
