I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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