I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
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