Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
