apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
