theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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