Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
