can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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