Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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