dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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