I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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