So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
