i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
