She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
