I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
